Cotton Blog

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Archive for ‘Funny T-Shirts’

FizzyT, January 5th, 2016

conchita teeWhat brings the New Year but colds, dark mornings and a freezer full of Stilton along with some broken resolutions! Time to break out of the old yukky habits and burst into the new year loudly. Albeit belatedly.

I love this new template which has a bit of a trompe oeil effect. I was wondering about posting a picture of some intestines or something rather unsavoury, and then I saw Conchita and thought it could be the most motivating t-shirt, like ever!

Happy New Year, and let this be the one to do like the Wurst!

FizzyT, December 1st, 2015

CaptureBeing a bit of an avid Ebay-er, I’ve come across quite a few listings where someone’s selling things given to them by an ex boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. I’m not sure if it’s Schadenfreude, but they’re usually quite funny, even if it’s in a way that makes you wince a little. You really get the feeling that things didn’t end well; whether the listing’s about financial gain or revenge is quite often the most uncomfortable bit, although the sense of humour usually comes through. Mostly.

So when I found out there’s a whole website dedicated to gifts from ‘The Ex’, I wasn’t sure whether it would be a bit cursed. ‘Never Liked it Anyway‘ is a whole website dedicated to flogging stuff given to you by The B*****d or the B***h. Tongue in cheek-ish, it is a whole cathartic process of exorcising your demons. I’m kinda hooked on the stories that accompany the things that are being sold, though I think maybe that’s wrong. Anyway, for the spurned or the spurnee, this is a must see!

FizzyT, November 9th, 2015

dARWIN FISHFar be it from me to say that there’s something fishy about those symbols you see on cars, but well, to be honest there just is and that’s all I’m going to say.

I love this Darwin t-shirt tho, available from the Guardian shop, where to confound those fish believers, evolution has occurred and the darned fish has grown legs and practically turned into a mammal.

One of those t-shirt slogans that you can’t help but enjoy, just a bit of a niggle, but enough. Great for any scientific chums, but maybe best not try it out on your churchgoing auntie. She could evolve a forked tongue.

FizzyT, November 5th, 2015

movember-preview-64_grandeDo you remember the first time Movember happened way back in 2003? Well, neither do I, but check out the amazing info-graphic here. There was a spurt of facial hair every which way you looked as chaps encouraged their follicles to sprout to raise money for men’s charities, and in the 12 years since it’s conception, over 400 million has been raised….amazing!

Well, Movember is here again, and the stubble should be well and truly at the itchy stage by now…. so to celebrate the flourishing faces of mighty men everywhere, here’s a moustache on a glorious Mo Bro tee…go bro!

FizzyT, October 31st, 2015

very british problemsI do love the magical entity that is Very British Problems. A skewed way of viewing our very British way of dealing with life, this little gem started life on Twitter (I think) and has now spawned a book of the same name.

The premise, basically, is that the British rarely say what they mean, and are mostly pretty grumpy. Little tweets such as “Q: Doing anything for Halloween? A: Locking the door, drawing the curtains and sitting very quietly.” are perfect genious, even more so if you think that there is the 140 character limit on Twitter. Tho I think the succinctness of the snippets is what makes Very British Problems so great.

It was only ever a matter of time before the slogans and quotes went very global and got put on a t-shirt. Perfect, I love these, great for anyone who is quintessentially contrarily British!

FizzyT, October 20th, 2015

Halloween is just around the corner, winking at us with greedy little handfuls of sweets and chocolate and exploding costumes.¬†Personally, I love a good pumpkin but that’s about as far as my enthusiasm goes in that ghoulish direction.

I do rather like this t-shirt by the amazingness that is Threadless however. Part pumpkin from the Nightmare Before Christmas,shirt_guys_01 part pirate, part uber cutesome cuddliness, this one has definitely got my vote for Trick or Treating, pumpkin carving or just anything atumn-y. Happy Halloween!

FizzyT, June 16th, 2015

I’m always up for a good vintage slogan or logo t-shirt, the more original and retro looking the font, the better. This range from design company ‘Shot Dead in the Head‘ is a great line of tees with the varying slogans reading ‘Built in the 20’s, 30’s 40’s etc’. Heck, I don’t quite know if it’s supposed to be a declaration of age, but it’s a nice little line and there’s a nice line of faded, vintage-y of colours and I like the ‘some parts still in working order’ bit, nice and mild with a hint of a wink. Check them out!

 

FizzyT, May 27th, 2015

I confess, I know absolutely nothing about US politics. Shocking, isn’t it? And whilst I am sitting here typing words to the effect that I really haven’t got time to find out, I could, in fact be looking up US politics and at least getting some kind of a basic grasp. I mean, how hard can it be?

Ah well, one of these days I’ll fill the gap in my knowledge and surprise you all. In the meantime, being vaguely aware of Hilary Clinton running for President or some kind of election, I was quite taken with her official merchandise, which shows that either she or someone in her team has a whopping sense of humour.

Sartorially, Ms Clinton favours the trouser suit as her political garb (no peskily stained dresses for this lady), so it’s quite funny that her official presidential tee is a printed take on said favourite item of clothing, with the words ‘Pantsuit Up’ on the back (they just don’t know the word trousers which I would say is a bit of a disadvantage)

Anyway, whatever she stands for, Hils gets our vote. Ok, so I promise I’ll find out one of these days!

FizzyT, March 13th, 2015

Way back in September I was flicking through the Independent  when I spotted an article on a chap who was writing poetry about the size of his penis. That was pretty brave, I thought, and tweeted the link absent-mindedly.

I was a bit surprised when the guy said thank you for the tweet. I guess he must have been looking out for any response to the article. Thinking I was being slightly humorous, I mocked up a couple of t-shirts and sent them over. To my mild surprise he absolutely loved them, and was really keen to have one. His wife particularly liked the one with the upside down crown and a slogan reading ‘Keep Calm It’s 4 Inches and Awesome!’ (awesome being my favourite word at the time). The piece on Ant Smith in the Independent had caught my eye because what shone through was Ant’s amazing attitude. It was pretty awesome. He’d confronted a taboo and through his creativity and humour, completely owned it. With that kind of attitude, I thought, we could conquer the world and still be smiling.

As it happened, the Boss was away on holiday, and I didn’t want to disturb him, so I bought the t-shirt I’d mocked up on my own credit card. I know the point of a business is that other people are supposed to buy your wares, you’re not supposed to buy things for your customers, but Ant’s was of tackling his…er…tackle completely blew me away, and he so loved the t-shirt idea, it seemed like a no brainer. Ok, so I did think maybe I shouldn’t make a habit of buying potential customers t-shirts. Hmmmmm….there’s a reason I’m not the Boss, right?

Fast forward several months, and Ant is front page news all over the world. His Big Small Penis Party has struck a chord with countless chaps who were worried they don’t measure up, and the papers have seized on the opportunity to provide pictures of rude vegetables and suggestive headlines. Oh, and the t-shirt. The t-shirt is definitely having it’s 15 minutes. Iconic, Ant calls it. Although, to be fair, I think he’s the icon.

FizzyT, March 3rd, 2015

I’m having a total love in moment with punchy designer Henry Holland‘s latest collection of t-shirts. From ironic newspaper covers in fluorescent bold print, logos ahoy, to Mr Men and Little Misses gone AWOL. I really like the creativity and the attitude. There’s bags of attitude!

This being ‘designer’ designer, the prices are in the Delevigne bracket, however there are some reduced numbers, which are no less shabby for being that bit cheaper. This kind of gear will set you apart as a modern day Britster, so it’s worth checking out and being prepared for the imminent good weather (it’s chucking hailstones out of the window at the moment, so optimism is struggling a wee bit).

Pair with jeans and a supermodel gurn for instant cool!