Cotton Blog

t-shirts, fashion, stuff...

Archive for February 2015

FizzyT, February 26th, 2015

I can’t decide what has shocked people the most. That a 56 year old woman dared to look sexy at the Brits. Or that Madonna, the consummate professional, went for a Burton.

Surely there’s nothing that surprising about an energetic performer in vertiginous heels loosing her balance once in a while? Naomi did it on the catwalk, Katy Perry’s landed on her face, maybe even a man fell over once. But with Madonna’s well documented arsedive at the Brit Awards last night, it wasn’t just about the fact that she could have broken her neck. It was about the fact that she’s trying too hard to keep up with the kids, and in trying to fit in, instead of setting the pace like she used to, she’s becoming a caricature of herself.

Her foray into social media has been an #epicfail. Although she’s still got it, whatever has been happening to her face just in’t pretty. I always thought that Madonna was an innovator, but it seems as though she’s become a follower. Kudos to her for getting up and carrying on, and there’s been a lot of support for her professionalism, but I don’t know if here ego will jump up as quickly, and to me that’s the real shame. There was a time when noone could touch her, and in a way they still can’t, but I wish she wouldn’t try and be a 20 year old still. 56 isn’t old, and I don’t want her to be invisible, and I wish she would realise that she’s still the queen of pop. She amazing as she is, the gimmicks are just letting her down more than the cape did.

FizzyT, February 23rd, 2015

I’m a little bit over Oscar frocks to be honest. The award season has been going on a while and what people were wearing being the topic of talk shows, news articles and magazine spreads is wearing a little thin (you can see what I did there, I know, it wasn’t massively clever).

There’s something about reducing some of the most famous, wealthy and beautiful women on the planet to Barbie dolls that seems really outdated. A handful get it right, most play it safe, and then there’s some whose stylists were possibly taking too many drugs that day and look like Christmas decorations. But how often does a  man ever appear on a worst dressed list (or a best dressed, for that matter)? Is a beauty pageant the best way to promote equality and ove into the 21st Century? Well, to be honest, without the frocks, noone would watch the show, and whilst in the animal kingdom it’s the male’s job to do the hard work and attract the dowdy female, in Lala land it’s roles and coverage those ladies wan to attract. And they’ll dress up to get them.

I kind of miss the era of Bjork and the swan confectionery, Cher’s alll over stockings and Celine Dion’s back to front tux. It kind of showed up the Oscars for being a pantomime. A massive pantomime, where the ugly sisters are actually quite stunning, and the oranges at half time are goody bags worth 80 grand, containing the famous vaginal rejuvenation kit. Because some of those frocks are quite hard on the old vagina, you know.

FizzyT, February 22nd, 2015

Designer Alexander Wang is a favourite of models and celebs. A laid back, dressed down approach to fashion, his work is at the cutting edge of fashion. His soft, drapey shapes and neutral tones are perfect slouch wear.

His barcode design is a bit of a twist on a great t-shirt design favourite. Not exactly a snip at a hefty £258 (I know, for a t-shirt, right?), but definitely the look to nail this season. Yes, if you’ve got the bank balance and the supermodel legs, you can team this with super skinny leather leggings, but if you’re a normal person with slightly shorter legs and an overdraft, you could make your own.

Our barcode template lets you add text underneath a barcode, so you can recreate Wang’s t-shirt design for something almost two hundred and fifty quid cheaper. And the text at the bottoms so spring summer 2015, darling. Alexander, are you listening?!

FizzyT, February 16th, 2015

So this all came about when I read an article in the Independent the other day listing some of the most cringeworthy lines from 50 Shades of Grey. It was one of those terrible moments when I couldn’t stop reading even though I knew that I would never get that time back. I think I lost a bit of my breakfast onto the computer screen. Or was it my brain! Obviously, the phenomenon that is EL James doesn’t give a flying fart if her prose made me do a sicky, she’s sold megamillions of her mommy porn master(bate)piece. I kinda wish she knew the pain she was causing tho.

Anyway the lovely Violet has mocked up a mug to celebrate the most overused, oversexed sentences in the book. Now there’s no escaping, we are, quite literally, bound to it forever. Yeah, thanks for that Violet! My tea bag will never look at me in the same way again! Ew.

FizzyT, February 12th, 2015

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching and 50 Shades of Grey on general release this weekend, you can bet that cinemas across the country will be filled with young couples watching two people pretend to have sex, instead of actually doing anything themselves. B&Q are stocking up on cable in case there’s a rush on of young men wanting to do DIY S&M on their girlfriends (I can see A&E is going to be busy) and all manner of 50 Shades inspired merchandise has hit the shops in such a way that is perfectly obvious that humanity is doomed.

From bondage teddies and tongues, jewellery and underwear, the range of 50 Shades material is truly frightening, and completely and utterly unsexy. The babygro with the slogan ‘9 months ago, Mummy ready 50 Shades of Grey’ actually made me do a little sick in my throat.

I’m sure the best way to treat a girl is to do the washing up, spare the fluffy pink handcuffs and chaffing duct tape. It’s just not going to work. Ever.

 

FizzyT, February 9th, 2015

The Baftas were in town last night. A celebration of the British Film industry and it’s try hard cousins from across the sea in Holywood, the Baftas are a riot of red carpet glamour. As is often the case, it’s the people who looked awful who garner the most attention, if not the most coveted awards. Serial offenders include Claudia Winkelman, you know what I’m saying. You do wonder sometimes who these stylists are that have megabuck budgets and then just produce a starlet who looks like if you plugged them in, they’d power a whole city. Ug.

Men don’t usually make it onto the best and worst dressed lists, which seems decidedly unfair. However last night Serge Pizzorno from Kasabian managed to make even old Clawds look subtle. A purveyor of many slogan t-shirts, Pizzorno threw a good hearted two fingered gesture to the formal dress code, by wearing his own version of a black tie. I think it shows initiative, and sure beats the hell out of tying a bow tie. Try this next time you’re invited out somewhere posh. I’m sure it’ll go down a storm!

FizzyT, February 5th, 2015

It’s always a bit of a struggle to know whether Valentine’s Day is going to go well or not. On the one hand, it’s sort of only really for teenagers and people who like Celine Dion, and the rest of us can forget it, but if you don’t bother and your dearest someone is expecting great things, then you’ll be toast if you don’t come up with the goods.

For a halfway house, the kinds that’s guaranteed to get you off the hook, whilst still retaining some self respect, I suggest our embroidered knitted scarves are a way of showing love without the kitsch. Embroidered with both of your initials for understated ardour is good too. Or you can go the full oug gooey and get a cuddly teddy bear, complete with personalised t-shirt. Heck, you could do both! Whatever you decide, we can help you out of a tight corner and a potential year full of recriminations. Phew!

FizzyT, February 1st, 2015

I have a intense dismay for the existence of such beings as the Royal wives and Wags who are supposed to look immaculate, but never utter a word. The old adage of ‘seen but not heard’which I thought was for Victorian children, is most prominent in the case of the Duchess of Cambridge, who, poor woman must bear intense scrutiny every time she steps outside the door, but never give anything away about her personality.

Similarly tennis Wag and fiance of Andy Murray, Kim Sears, has largely taken a back seat role. A swishy haired clothes horse, all we know is that she doesn’t give interviews and has nice hair. I’ve forgotten which century this is, but I’m sure there’s something wrong with the picture!

So it was quite a nice turn up for the Waggy books when Sears was caught on camera this week, swearing effusively at her fiance’s opponent’s fiance. Days of endless speculation ensued whilst her filthy outburst was defined to the last expletive.  ‘Flash F**k’ experts eventually decerned she mouthed when a close up of Tomas Berdych’s own Wag appeared on the large screen. I’m not sure if the global shock and horror that greeted her swearing was the swearing itself or the fact that can obviously speak.

So today, although Murray lost his final, it was rather heart warming to see Sears reclaiming the Wag open title wearing a sweatshirt with a parental advisory content logo (we this template on our garments, check them out here).  I love it. She has shiny hair, a personality and a sense of humour to boot. Game, set and match Spears.