Cotton Blog

t-shirts, fashion, stuff...

Archive for November 2013

FizzyT, November 30th, 2013

Dame Vivienne Westwood has always been one of my favourite designers. The purveyor of punk, the queen of protest and the grand dame of British fashion, Westwood has fun with fashion and fashion worships at her altar.

A book by biographer Ian Kelly is due out later this year, and promises to be an utterly compelling read. Outspoken, dotty and passionate, Viv has moved in the most interesting circles known to man, beast and pop culture.

Here she is, in an image from the Guardian today, way back in 1977 wearing the iconic Queen with safety pin through the nose look, with her partner in crime Malcolm Mclaren. A t-shirt print that has done the rounds for so long, but is still as relevant today as 35 years ago. Viva Viv!

FizzyT, November 29th, 2013

This slogan t-shirt, of the kind that went out with the ark, struck me as being a perfect Secret Santa gift for the office this Christmas. Just perfect for your David Brent-y, slightly misogynistic, dodgy sense of humour type colleague. Someone you may want to see get slapped by all the girls you’re working with. Not hard, obvs.

Alternatively, this could be a nice gender twisty item and you could buy it for a female and totally turn the tables and make it into a moob alert tee. Either way, it’s mildly annoying yet still quite funny and a bargain at £14.99 from Lush t-shirts. Offend away, you can just blame Santa’s naughty little helpers.

FizzyT, November 28th, 2013

I’ve just discovered a great new t-shirt blog called Slightly Wrong Quotes. The site is a delight of film and TV quotes and catchphrases, all of which are slightly wrong. The sense is the same, but there is just something about each and every one of them which wants to make you scream. The quote from Taxi Driver, for example, is misquoted as ‘Are you speaking to me?’ and MC Hammer’s most memorable song is reworded as ‘Can’t touch him’

I’m loving this Jerry Maguire t-shirt which makes a deliberate balls up of both the phrase and the title of the film. A great, quirky idea and an awesomely irksome gift for any film buff!

FizzyT, November 27th, 2013

Quite honestly, the public feud between Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi leaves me cold. Embroiled in what is possibly the dirtiest fight in recent times, the oven gloves are off and they’re both out fighting. In the sultry red corner we have Nigella, domestic goddess and sexiest woman ever to lick a wooden spoon, albeit with the silliest name in the biz, and potentially the most vacuous nostril cavity known to man. In the blue corner Charles Saatchi, he of the ‘Labour isn’t Working’ slogan, Tracey Emin art collection (dude, just make the goddarn bed)  wife throttler supreme and milk snatching Thatcherite.

I’m sorry to be so blatantly Nigella-ist guys, but today’s t-shirt is for the queen of steam, go Nigella, lick him into touch!

FizzyT, November 26th, 2013

Awesome dude street artist Mau Mau has designed a run of t-shirts to be sold by The Big Issue’s Social Trading shop in order to highlight the devastation of the oceans caused by the build up of millions and squillions of plastic bottles that clog up our seas (check out the Great Pacific Garbage Patch here; an area twice the size of France and growing rapidly…eek)

Made from a 50/50 combination of recycled plastic bottles and Fairtrade cotton, these tees just couldn’t be any more rightous. And for £20 a reasonably priced garment that won’t cost the earth.

FizzyT, November 25th, 2013

I have just discovered our mens boxer shorts (I think we’ve been doing them for a while, but I am notoriously slow on the uptake) thus am having lots of sniggers at thinking of personalised messages with which you could imbue your boyfriend/husband/partner’s undies.

My mind is drawn, as it has been so often lately, to the idea of penis dunking, as a post coital cleansing ritual. Maybe a little message on the pant leg to indicate that dunkage had occurred might pacify hygiene concious girlfriends? (the slogan reads ‘my penis wants you to know it’s fully dunked!)

Try personalising your loved one’s smalls and pop a pair in their Christmas stocking. They are bound to love them on site and you may get a Christmas treat too!

FizzyT, November 24th, 2013

Forget Japanese businessmen buying schoolgirls’ knickers, Harry ‘One Direction’ Styles’ unwashed Burberry t-shirt has been sold to an anonymous Texan man for over £3000 in a charity bidding frenzy.

Whether he has splashed out more than 20 times the cost of the tee to sniff himself or for his besotted (and rather spoiled, by the sound of it) offspring, has yet to be revealed. Suffice to say, that for Styles, if the music career ever falters, there’s a handy sideline wearing t-shirts and selling them on. Saves on washing powder too!

FizzyT, November 23rd, 2013

Radio 6’s Wear your old band t-shirt to work day has definitely hit the nostalgia spot. Fans, journos and DJs alike revel in the opportunity to dig out their most loved (and crustiest) t-shirts and wear them proudly (and in what can only be described as a best case scenario, only smelling of moth balls).

A classic idea, and surely a wonderful way to celebrate music (and washing powder). Get yours on and reminisce!


FizzyT, November 22nd, 2013

Miley Cyrus, The twerking, tongue waggling popstar formerly known as Hannah Montana is 21 tomorrow, which means she’ll be legal in the States, not that a small thing like the strong arm of the law is going to stop Cyrus is her strategically placed bid to take over the world, wiggle by shocking wiggle.

Openly enjoying the controversy she has created with the whole foam finger down the pants, furry tongue, arse in the air, straddling a giant ballbearing starkers, she has achieved the aim of being the most talked about woman on the planet, for doing not very much really.

So the smallest t-shirt we’ve got, a very Miley style vest top tee with the slogan which surely must be the best career mantra in the biz. Happy Birthday Miley!

FizzyT, November 21st, 2013

The three most popular new words this year, according to the Oxford Dictionary, the oracle of all things literary are ‘selfie’, ‘twerk’ and ‘schmeat’, a laboratory grown alternative to meat, made with bovine protein…yummy.

Of course I’ve taken a selfie. Hasn’t everybody tried to emulate that ‘me, me me’ pout? I didn’t even look like a smug, narcissistic t**t, I just looked shit and like I’d swallowed a Kanye. I’m quite sure that if I tried to twerk it would look as though I was trying to catapault a dingleberry from my a**e, and I probably ate some schmeat when I dropped that weird tasting burger from Aldi.

If these are words, and not just descriptions of how the human race is on it’s last twerked out legs, then I feel a bit sorry for the planet. In the meantime, surely a mug is in order?