Hug That Hoodie!
Thanks to last night’s leadership debate, Cameron (David) is looking hotter than Cameron (Diaz) on a hot hot day. But all is not lost for Mr. Clegg. Still riding surprisingly high in the polls, for one who was unheard of but three weeks ago, he still has the potential to net a lot of leftover floaters in the blocked drain of political backwater.
Cameron has the edge at the moment, but just one Gordon-like gaffe and he could be left with Clegg on his face!
Tongue in Cheek Foot in Mouth!
With only six days to go until election day proper and voters still undecided it’s time for a quick whizz through the last few days in t-shirt politics. This week, Gordon Brown, after being confronted by a terrier-like Labour supporter and slagging her off whilst still being recorded for sound, managed to seal the lid on his political coffin that he’s been banging the nails into for weeks.
Never the most charismatic of politicians, Brown has been left standing by the political prowess of Cameron and Clegg. But if the economy wasn’t in quite so dire a state, he might be forgiven the fact that he has almost no people skills, and nobody likes him.
The Boss, in his new guise as creator of spoof posters has been coming up with his final offering of political t-shirts. And off to a flying start we have foot-in-your-mouth Brown.
Splash Resistant T-Shirt!
Don’t you just hate it when you’re all dressed and ready to go, trying to catch a quick gulp of that essential morning caffeine-fix when you go and spill it all down you? Sometimes mornings don’t go your way, and there’s nothing to do but strategically hold a book or piece of cardboard in front of the offending stain all day.
Well, how about this t-shirt for a problem solver? Pre tea-stained and ready to go! Isn’t that an ingenuous idea. I would buy a wad of them, if they weren’t £200 each from Bess at Net-a-Porter. Still, these ones are nice and long so they’ll cover up a lot of spillage! Or you could forgo your morning caffeine. As if!
Come to Mummy!
What with the election looming ever nearer, and the third and final leadership debate on the horizon, one very powerful group is the object of Nick Clegg’s attentions. Mumsnet, the (ever so slightly scary) website for and by mums is showing an enormous amount of support for the Liberal Democrats. Clegg has jumped to the top of their polls since the television debates, with figures seeing him soaring above the other two main contenders and over 50% of voters saying they will put their X in his Box on polling day.
Mumsnet have proved themselves to be a force to be reckoned with in recent times, a bit like like modern day suffragettes, who it must not be forgot got women the vote in the first place. Criticised by many for being too cliquey, you cannot however deny that they are pulling a massive load of consumer power, and must be obeyed at all times.
Nick Clegg, presumably happy to have the mumsnetters support just drop in his lap is giving himself maximum exposure by concentrating very hard indeed on this group of voters. David Cameron meanwhile is telling anyone and everyone that a vote for Lib Dem is a vote for Labour. And Gordon has just headed slap bang into the middle of another major row, slagging off a lifelong supporter whilst still miked up. Duh!
So, ahead of the next election, the question on eveyone’s lips must be “Who’s your Mummy?” We only have a week to go, chose your t-shirt fast!
Oh the celebrity offspring of today, what a heaving bunch of disasters, what wasters of golden opportunities, what a blot on the landscape of a famous life. What a bummer when mommy or daddy get all the attention, and the only way of scoring points is by being a mega brat? Last week there was the story that Michael Douglas’s son, Thingey Douglas, has been jailed for 5 years after admitting to dealing all kinds of dodgy substances. In an open letter to the judge, Douglas blamed this straying from the straight and narrow as the result of having two generations of famous men behind him. So, instead of bringing him untold wealth, privilege and tonnes of cool godparents, as you might expect, he’s ended up inside. Happily, Thingey Douglas is now rather well known in his own right, but what a way to go about it. More performance enhancing rather than enhanced performance. Still at least the two generations of famous men behind him meant he only got half the jail term he was entitled to. Small mercies, eh?
To be fair, they’re not all like Thingey Douglas. At the other end of the celebrity kid scale, along with the likes of Stella McCartney, is the child formerly known as Zowie Bowie. Having denied his father and refused his famous name, he has quietly carved out a career for himself, as Bafta winning film maker Duncan Jones. And you would have thought he was totally doomed what with David and Angie’s genes to contend with.
The list of celebrity kids who have had a bash at fame is endless, and the future contenders, those celeb brats of tomorrow are already waiting in the wings (heading the line is Suri Cruise, obviously). One of the most baffling things to me, though is how they manage to squeeze such a lucrative living out of their famous surname. Surely this is not talent, merely hideous over exposure and mikling that famous name for all its worth? Take, for example the Geldof girls. As though they had been to the Jordan school of subtlety, they are constantly spread all over the papers like one of those private rashes you have to see the nurse about. And what bewilders me the most are the modelling contracts. Er, hello? I thought that one of the prerequisites of being a model was NOT needing a paper bag over your head. The latest in these baffling commissions is Kelly Osbourne. Always quite quirky in her own right for not looking like someone had melted down all their barbies and made a Real Girl, Osbourne had wobbles, mad hair and a square jaw Dolph Lundgren would give his eye teeth for.
Kelly pre-airbrushing!
And then, guess what, she got thin. And then she got blonde. And that’s when she got a modelling contract with St Tropez, where she talks about how her fake tan makes her look 10lbs thinner andhow this has made her self esteem go up. Arrrgh! It’s because they’ve changed you into a different person Kelly. It’s not your self esteem, it’s someone else’s. What with the studio lighting, the make-up and the airbrush Kelly Osbourne looks like every other bland blonde. Dolph would be soooo upset. The Princes Trust charity have even pulled their support from the project, due to there being so many objections.
Post Airbrushing!
It’s not that a don’t think Kelly is a lovely girl, but I wonder whether being airbrushed to the max is really the route to self fulfilment. Or if people will just have a mighty great shock when they see you in the flesh and you actually look like Shrek.
Oh well, now I’ve got that off my chest, check out my t-shirt of the day.
Of COURSE they're mine. I paid for them.
T-shirt printing is a totally great way to enhance your best assets and distract from those not so good ones! Who needs an airbrush or a famous family when you look like this!
If your parent is Mick Jagger, you can be sure of two things. Firstly, you will automatically be the coolest kid in the class. Secondly that you will have huge lips.
Jade Jagger, spawn of Mick and Bianca has had both of these incredibly advantageous commodities in oodles, since the day she was born in fact. So it’s no surprise really that she turned into cool designer and Ibiza party girl when she was about two.
Now, amidst the ditsy tea-dresses and nautical stripes that defines summer, Jade has launched a rock chick line of t-shirts, vests, sweatshirts and dresses which stem directly from her gene-pool, under her real life name of Jade Jezebel Jagger (how cool is that for a middle name!) Lots of Union Jacks and safety pins together with Jade’s trademark pouty lips make this one of the coolest collections around.
Pastel Pins!
Silver Pins
I have to say though, the safety pins in those pretty pretty colours are a bit too eco-friendly nappy for my liking. So, in a little whirlwind of creativity, I have hunted out an alternative and put it on a vest top camisole. Great for a bit of attitude this summer, even if Jezebel isn’t your middle name.
Cheryl and Alexandra, and did a bird poo on her jeans?
Arrrr! I of the beady eye have spotted a bunch of anchors adorning a bunch of er……celebrities we’ll call them, shall we! What with summer just around the corner, we’re seeing the first glimpses of the trends that will keep getting more and more prevalent as they filter through to us mere mortals, who are sadly sans stylists, and bucketloads of designer freebies. I first spotted our Cheryl with an anchor on her chest, and no it wasn’t Ashley, it was a t-shirt. Shortly after, I saw the same t-shirt on X-Factor winner Alexandra Burke. Coincidence? Maybe. Then things started happening. The image of an anchor printed onto a t-shirt seemed to be everywhere. Cult American brand Wildfox Couture do a rather nifty number, if you want to get in on the act, or the high street goldmine that is Topshop.
T-shirt vest with Anchor.
However, for utter originality go and make your own. Then you can totally colour coordinate your outfit. I have chosen a tatoo-y anchor to print onto a vest top t-shirt, but you could get creative and dig out some colouring pencils. Anchors away!
That's my Daddy!
I guess when your dad is David Beckham then you are going to get the odd freebie; flight, t-shirt, island, who knows? Still, mini Beckham is obviously enjoying the clothing his father has to offer. Designed by Victoria Beckham for Sport Relief, the t-shirts featuring daddy David are an obvious asset for any budding football star. Famous parents can be a blessing or a curse.( Or a cruise if your name is Suri) The celeb world does seem to like its offspring to be mini-me’s, but rarely do they come cuter than this. Ah!
Do you ever look at your boss and wonder what they really should be doing? That may be a bit of a loaded question, especially for a Friday afternoon, but the boss is showing no sign of stopping work on his spoof election campaign t-shirts. I’m beginning to think he missed his calling. In fact, I think I might hurriedly make him a “Born to Photoshop” t-shirt to wear at the weekend. Take a look at these Cameron and Clegg t-shirts and see what you think……
David "Kenny" Cameron
Nick Clegg in Disguise!
………now you can go to the pub!
A lot of Hot Air!
Last week, holidaymakers everywhere were struggling with the mammoth task of getting back home again, after being stranded overseas, incurring massive expenses and tans along the way. It seemed as though Iceland could do no right. First the banks and now the volcano. Guys, couldn’t we have settled with Bjork and have done with it? But now, it seems the so called (well, by the insurance companies anyway) ‘Act of God’ had a very mighty purpose after all. Celebrities, those people who aren’t really real, had to slum it with the rest of the population and take (gasp) PUBLIC transport in order to travel. How appalling, how terribly galling; celebs just don’t DO transport of a public nature. Whitney Houston, she of the accommodating nostrils had to take a FERRY, with….ew…PEOPLE in it. Poor, broke John Cleese had to eek out his last £3,000 to pay for a selection of cabs from Oslo, and then hop onto the Eurostar, where he bagged one of the few seats. And there were many other tales of celebs spending thousands on cabs, leaked presumably by their PR massive in order to show how truly important they are, and how the media couldn’t function without their presence. But the pièce de résistance must have been that the volcano kept Miley Cyrus out of the UK to promote her film. Genius! Iceland, we forgive you!
